Day 2, Snake Oil or The Holy Grail


  • Self Inventory CHECK
  • Weigh In CHECK
  • Herbalife Meal Replacement Shake…

Now if you’re a woman over the age 35 and not part of the 2% whom are just a naturally genetically gifted size 2 (bitches, the lot of them), chances are you’ve done at LEAST one of the following:

Slim Fast meal replacement shakes: its claim to fame- “The original meal replacement shake you can’t resist. Creamy Milk Chocolate is for every chocolate lover. Deliciously sweet and packed with protein and fiber, it keeps you full for up to four hours. This is the guilt-free way to enjoy chocolate and still lose weight.” Ha! Each shake is a whopping 10.9 oz with ONLY 10mg of protein and 25 carbohydrates. Please, I’d be more satisfied with a Snickers bar. 10 oz as a meal replacement? For whom, an infant?

Alli – the only NON-prescription FDA approved weight loss pill. “alli (orlistat 60 milligram capsules) is your smart edge for weight loss. Among weight loss products, it’s Orlistat, the active ingredient in alli, is a lipase inhibitor and works by binding to specific enzymes that break down fats. As a result, about 25 percent of the fat you consume is not absorbed and passes through the digestive system. Since the calories associated with this unabsorbed fat are not used, the number of calories that enter your system is reduced. You’re ready with alli by your side. alli (orlistat 60 milligram capsules) is a weight loss aid for overweight adults, 18 years and older, when used along with a reduced calorie and low fat diet. Read and follow label directions.” Hmmm…sounds great, right? But where does that “25 percent of the fat you consume is not absorbed and passes through the digestive system.” go? Let’s just say a picture is worth 1,000 words.

Appetite Suppressants – suppressant is the PC code for stimulants. “Green tea fat burner formula. Green tea leaf extract is packed with antioxidants and EGCG (epigallocatechin) which support increased energy, stamina and thermogenesis and help curb appetite. Digestive metabolism booster. This herbal weight loss and detox supplement contains polyphenols that help reduce abdominal bloating, support digestion and work as an appetite suppressant, helping you lose more weight.” 9 times out of 10, the main ingredients are a huge bolus of green tea and coffee bean extract. In other words , you’re mainlining a huge dose of caffeine. So are you stimulated? I would call that an understatement.

Fat Burners– they all promise to burn that lard around your middle; no more Dunlops. Don’t need to change your diet or exercise. Keep on keeping on, pop these puppies and you’ll be sporting Daisy Dukes in no time. The only thing these fat burners burn, a hole in my wallet.

Which now brings me to my Indiana Jones moment- will I choose wisely? Is this Herbalife meal replacement shake just another marketing scam targeting my insecurities? That dreaded three digit number? A good friend of mine, Christy, has been on these products for YEARS. So I asked her option and advice. Her response, “The products themselves have changed my life, and my families. I have lost 65 pounds and been able to maintain that weight loss, found food & nutrition in a healthy way. I now enjoy what I eat, have amazing energy. You don’t know how bad you feel until you feel better.” Well then, other than my wallet and pride what do I have to lose? That being said, based on her recommendations I placed my first order with Herbalife.

  • 14oz shaker bottle
  • Herbalife Formula 1 Nutritional Shake Mix, French Vanilla
  • Herbalife Personalized Protein Powder
  • Herbalife, Herbal Concentrate Tea, Peach
  • Herbalife Cell-U-Loss® Weight Loss Enhancer Natural Detoxification and Healthy Elimination of Water
  • 32 oz Water Bottle with Time Marker
  • Liftoff®: Ignite-Me Orange 30 Tablets
  • Herbal Aloe Concentrate: Cranberry Pint $
  • TOTAL SPENT under $235.00 (month supply)

Now I know $235 is at least to me, not pocket change but when I did the math, I’m only spending $6.90 a day. Breaking it down to a daily number, that is actually pretty reasonable…and I received my products via FedEx in two days…not too shabby.

First thing I did after ripping open the boxes, I checked the Herbalife Formula 1 Nutritional Shake Mix, French Vanilla’s nutrition facts and was pleasantly surprised: low on the glycemic index (aka low in sugars, which is a huge bonus for me – I’m hypoglycemic) and the protein content ranges anywhere from 17-24g of protein (depending how your shake is prepared).

Based on Christy’s tutelage, I set off to make my first shake (breakfast). Disclaimer– I am so not a breakfast person, so when she told me drink this first thing in the morning with my coffee, I thought this is doable because the only thing that IS a requirement of mine in the morning is leaded coffee.

RECIPE (I’ll admit, I gerried a wee bit)

  • 2 measured cups (cups provided in mix) of the shake
  • 1 measured cup of the personalized protein powder
  • Ice
  • At least 10oz water
  • 1-2 oz cold/warm coffee
  • 1-2 oz milk
  • Shake well
  • Drink up

And now the proverbial moment of truth…actually consuming it…actually pretty darn tootin’ tasty. And because the shake had roughly 30g of protein Not only was my beast dated until early afternoon, but my sugars stabilized to where I was only one personality versus several. I felt great!

For the first time in awhile I felt good about myself – there was a sense of accomplishment and pride, that “I got this” and in a time where the shit hitting the fan, I felt in control. Funny how a simple and what most would call insignificant decision can make such an impact.

I have chosen…wisely.

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