BPM: because Black Pupils Matter

Living out in Huckleberry County, in a village that time forgot, one would think nothing ever happens out here. I thought that…

Picture it: Wednesday O’Dark Thirty and it was garbage day. Usually we take the garbage out on Tuesday night; but for some reason, perhaps serendipity, we didn’t so my husband who’s an insomniac was up early…

I was still asleep; as anything before 0700 is simply draconian and uncivilized, when my dogs, specifically 300 pounds of them were barking and jumping on our bed trying to wake me up. Groggily I opened my eyes and heard some commotion coming out of the garage. I heard my husband moving around and talking; presumed he was the phone until I heard that second voice…now I knew why the dogs were so persistent and woke me up.

Got myself out of bed- not exactly cognizant of what I was wearing, or rather the lack of…and grabbed my Sjambok.

“The sjambok or litupa is a heavy leather whip. It is traditionally made from an adult hippopotamus or rhinoceros hide, but is also commonly made out of plastic. A strip of the animal’s hide is cut and carved into a strip 0.9 to 1.5 metres long, tapering from about 25 mm thick at the handle to about 10 mm at the tip. Wikipedia

I headed out to our garage with our dogs in diamond point formation, opened the door and there he was; a younger fella: late 20s/early 30s, clean cut, wearing black pajamas, socks, bed slippers and more lit up than the 4th of July…

Ever see those movies where drug addicts – their portrayal seems “over the top”? Well – guess what? They’re not. This fella was sweating like a constipated elephant- dripping from every pore. His eyes were so dilated he looked like Damien 2.0.

So here I am in my pajamas with my sjambok staring at this man obviously strung out on some hallucinogenic, and of course I yell at him, “who the fuck are you?!!” Believe it or not, he snapped to point of attention and gave me his real name (later I confirmed this on Facebook). He was flaying around in our garage in hystronics that “the government is out to kill me!” You know those movies (we all watch them) where the actor/actress is straight tripping out on hallucinogenics and we assume it’s dramatized? Well, guess what? It’s not.

So back to the story…this young man completely out of his mind without any concept of what happened to him or where he was at, was standing at the threshold of our home.

Now, the dogs got involved…diamond star formation. The German Shepherd, Ziva, hacked up, defense four point stance, was standing guard in the hallway to our daughter’s room. No way in cold hell would anyone get past her. Tilda, our English Mastiff, the teddy bear of the bunch, didn’t look so cuddly. Teeth bared, poised to launch, she was standing guard in front of our bedroom where our son crashed out for the night. Leading the charge against Damien 2.0, was Dunkle, aka Cujo Jr., our mini-dachshund and King, the Doberman we rescued. Both were standing between myself and this intruder – both set to rip his cajones off, if necessary.

This apparently scared the literal shit out of the miscreant -because he started to REALLY freak out and scream, “THE CIA SPOOKS, THEY’RE OUT TO KILL ME!!!” Damien 2.0 then took off running into the street like the devil himself was on his heels. Who knows, maybe he was…

Looking back, the incident while hysterical at the same time was bittersweet. Damien 2.0 made a poor decision and almost paid for it with his life. A side effect of youth is the misplaced comfortableness of invincibility. As amazing as our bodies are- we are fragile just the same. A simple chemical concoction can change our entire morphology in the blink of an eye.

Side Bar: someone else in our small town called the local constabulary and Damien 2.0 was retrieved and taken to get aid.

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